I bow my head as twines of onyx hides my ruby faceAll I feel is dread A knot of thoughts swirling through my mindI can’t stand being this kind I am unable to breathe I can not let goThe angels I know Are at war. His eyes bore down on […]
This is the first Christmas I am not too loopy. Every year I tell my shrink I go “crazy” around Christmas time. This year she upped my meds before things got too hairy. I have stopped loving Christmas as I got caught in the rat race, of let’s show the […]
“From Longman Dictionary of Contemporary Englishwallow in self-pity/despair/defeat wallow in self-pity/despair/defeat etc to seem to enjoy being sad etc, especially because you get sympathy from other people – used to show disapproval He’d been feeling sorry for himself, wallowing in self-pity.”(1) AKA Hero to Zero as Neil puts it. Ok, […]
December 2, 2021- starting this at 12:15 am. I sense an all-nighter but if I write everything I want to, then I will be able to go to bed. I am doing good. I really want to try and focus on positive stuff, look for signs of goodness rather than […]
Tuesday, November 30, 2021- The fallout. I had two doctor appointments on Friday over the phone. I knew something had to change and I wanted to talk to my shrink and let her know what happened to me while I was taking Clonazepam. My therapist Dr feels that I likely […]
Well hi everyone. I need to write a shitty blog. As you may know, I am bipolar, Bipolar 1. And as many people have indicated for a while is that I have been manic, I wish that back right now. The doctor is worried about my irregular sleep as well […]
Sixteen years ago on this night, I stood in my garage thinking about hanging myself. I had a flash of my kids, 2 and 7 years old and I was so full of self-hatred and disgust that I burned myself on the arm several times with my cigarette. I rushed […]
Almost a month has gone by without me writing. I have been wanting to write for a while but things get busy, everyone knows what that is like, I do my best. In my last post, I talked about being in a band. It is still a thing though we […]
I have been procrastinating posting a blog. I have had some very exciting news to share, but I never seemed to have the time to dedicate to writing, and I am so far behind and I have a lot to say. As always. The last time I posted, I was […]
I am on top of the world. I watch my video over and over. Thursday was an incredible night. Only my third time with this group of guys and did my first 3 song set, with no lyrics. So my background in singing is karaoke as I have mentioned before […]
Adventures of Dit Dot 