Menu Home


I have done research before on this topic. I may have already written about my OBE, out of body experiences. If I can explain it as I experience it, I feel a warmth come over me and then I literally feel my body separate from my sleeping body. I can see myself as I was when I fell asleep, ie, same PJs, same body position. Sometimes scary things happen during this time, a sudden intruder. Sometimes it is just the feeling that is scary.

A long long time ago I studied lucid dreaming. In my words, it is about being able to control dreams. It is about recognizing signs of being in a dream world, like odd things that show up. For instance one of my dreams is about trying to put on contacts that are the size of a small plate. I know it is a sign I am dreaming yet I haven’t been able to correct it in my sleep.

Very long time ago when I was with my other partner, I had this thing. This thing was like an invisible spirit. But that invisible spirit had its hand around my throat. I struggled. I woke with yelling help. I could still feel his hands around my throat. This guy, I figured out it was a male spirit would visit on occasion. Sometimes I could feel him against my body but for the most part I was being hurt by this spirit.

This is my best lucid dreaming control that I have ever done. I began to notice signs of this spirit, or presence and I would start to feel scared, I was also smothered by a pillow, anyways somehow I was able to see this in my dream. Somehow I was able to control these dreams probably out of fear.

I decided at one point somehow to make this a sexual dream. It worked. To be blunt I would feel the presence trying to scare me with the things like smothering me and I would say to the spirit just have sex with me.

Literally. Now I have a spirit bed partner. He doesn’t come around as much now. Maybe because I don’t have that fear.

Now I am battling nightmares, but as I read about them I am actually experiencing night terrors.

Just the other night, likely I was falling asleep I started hearing footsteps by my bed. I was so scared I jumped out of bed and “flew” down the stairs yelling “I am scared.”

Thank God Neil was there her grabbed a hold of me and held me tight. I stayed with him until he came to bed and he held me until I fell asleep.

I had had a couple of more, somewhat OBE, and somewhat just night terror. I have been yelling out in my sleep. My daughter has heard me and she will come upstairs (she is a night owl, esp since this pandemic)

They scare me. I can’t escape them, so after a couple of night terrors, I decided to take some of my left over sleeping pills, Zopiclone. It is a hypnotic. Literally will drop to the floor in 15 minutes.

When I used to take it, I would make a coffee (decaf at the time) I would have a few sips and start falling asleep sitting up. Neil would help me stand and march me (with his arms under my arms holding around my chest and get me to bed. Well, one night I said no no I am ok. So I head up my 5 stairs to my bedroom and I literally feel asleep going upstairs and I fell back. I was asleep. I didn’t get hurt. Scared the shit out of Neil, after that he never let me go upstairs on my own when I have taken my sleeping pill. Really I know I should only take it when I am lying down and I will if I am with my kids.

So I have had these night terrors, and I take my sleeping pill for a couple of nights because I am too afraid to fall asleep. And I don’t have dreams or at least have no memory of them.

The other thing that I had been doing is sleepwalking. That seemed to come from my sleeping pill and so I did stop taking it and my doctor was glad. It is a heavy medication and it is addictive, or habit-forming. I did have withdrawals of nightmares, or maybe they just surfaced again because I wasn’t medically retrained lol.

I am taking my sleeping pill for a bit longer than a couple of days.

I need to talk to my doctor. I have been trying to tell them that there is something wrong with my sleep. Night terrors, I read usually happen between midnight and 2 am. That’s when I would either get up or have a night terror.

I used to always have nice dreams.

So I did a bit of reading and the more I read the more I want to go to a sleep lab. I am not sure if they can pick up brain activity while I sleep.

Apparently night terrors happen in people with mental health issues, depression, anxiety and they even listed bipolar and extreme long-standing stress as the culprit.

I also eat in the middle of the night, even on my sleeping pill. Last time I did that I spilled half a yogurt container on myself. I have found food around me, just start to eat and randomly fall asleep when I have food in my hands. I haven’t quite figured out if I am sleepwalking but I am definitely not awake enough to be able to eat and sometimes even make food.

There is actually documentation on sleep-induced eating disorders.

I struggle with that awake as well.

Oh and my post yesterday. I realized I actually had heatstroke from being on my motorcycle for an hour during a heat warning. I didn’t even realize how hot it was, I was just happy I wasn’t cold.

This horrid feeling, the chills, being cold and tired…happened to me when we had to rebuild my roof, and we did that during a heat warning that lasted 4 out of 5 days a month or so ago.

I hope the information is interesting, perhaps you have discovered something new today.

Now if I had the cure.

Categories: Uncategorized

Tagged as:

Christie F.

Welcome to my blog. I have been journal writing for years. I took a course in Creative writing and found I enjoy writing short stories and poetry. I write more when I am hypomanic or manic.
I went into Rehab for Alcohol Addictions and have been sober for fourteen years.
Shortly after I quit drinking I was diagnosed with Bipolar 2, I have since been diagnosed with Bipolar 1.
I enjoy talking about my story, for people to learn or relate. I try and have a healthy lifestyle and try to use my coping strategies. Life is just too boring without Bipolar, it is a blessing but yet sometimes a curse.
I am currently working on a book and dream of publishing one day.
I am so excited to have found Wordpress.
This is my new adventure.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: