August 7th, 2020
The day before our ‘wedding’. I am getting nervous. Neil surprised me with so much info, I do not feel prepared. What I thought was just going to be a party it is turning out to be a wedding. Neil didn’t talk to me about it till this week. Everything that I wanted is coming real. It has become quite clear that Neil really wants to have a wedding. Without an officiant or some third person. I joked about it being an illegal wedding (as opposed to a “legal” wedding).
Neil has always said that if we did a commitment ceremony he would see that as our actual legal wedding, just without the paperwork formality. We have the rings. We have the vows. That is all people want to see.
Someday, we will have a legal wedding if we decide to live together. I wanted to regardless but it will actually cost us money yearly, and we have separate houses so the gov’t would question that. It is too bad things aren’t up to today’s ideas. Probably many people that chose to marry and chose to stay in their own homes.
I can’t imagine Neil wanting to leave his home. It is quite large, four-bedrooms. So it is a lot of space for one guy, but he has it filled. His garage is full. I have a small three-bedroom semi-detached back split bungalow. All that stuff isn’t going to fit.
The only way I see it is if we buy a cottage and move his stuff there.
That would be sweet.
Anyways. Rebecca just left for her dad’s. I was just doing my nails. I found this gorgeous clear sparkle nail polish. It looks like I have diamonds on my fingertips the way it sparkles. I am proud to say that I have been able to grow my own nails after wearing fake nails for ten years on and off. Neil doesn’t like fake nails. Fake nails don’t scratch…..
Speaking of which, without fully knowing me, I may have written about it but we were into some light BDSM. I guess part of that came from 50 Shades. We haven’t been involved in the community for a long while now, but lately, my mind wonders about it. Am I ready? Are we ready?
It’s not something you just do. You don’t suddenly start unexpectedly. It is something that is discussed. It takes a strong, healthy, good communication and most importantly trust. Full-on trust.
We haven’t really talked about it. I am sure Neil is missing that connection. I am starting to think about it. In fact, the other day I was going through my stuff and I came across my leather straight jacket. I just loved it. I placed it on his bed and told him “I am starting to think about it”
I think after tomorrow I will. We will start back up again, I am missing it now.
A bit off-topic.
I did a whole bunch of things this morning trying to get ready to leave the house. I have Gavin here to stay with Archie. I am going to stay at Neils tonight and then of course Saturday night we will be staying in our tent. Then will be our honeymoon.
Our honeymoon is actually booked for the first weekend in October. It is the final week that the provincial parks are open. Neil and I went there last year at the same time. It was unseasonably warm and rained most of the weekend. But there was like, no one there. We pretty much had the campground, well at least out section, empty.
One more sleep.
Welcome to my blog. I have been journal writing for years. I took a course in Creative writing and found I enjoy writing short stories and poetry. I write more when I am hypomanic or manic.
I went into Rehab for Alcohol Addictions and have been sober for fourteen years.
Shortly after I quit drinking I was diagnosed with Bipolar 2, I have since been diagnosed with Bipolar 1.
I enjoy talking about my story, for people to learn or relate. I try and have a healthy lifestyle and try to use my coping strategies. Life is just too boring without Bipolar, it is a blessing but yet sometimes a curse.
I am currently working on a book and dream of publishing one day.
I am so excited to have found Wordpress.
This is my new adventure.