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Role Model – July 16th

She comes out of her brown and beige travel van with curtains in the window. The speakers are set up and after some fine-tuning, they start their set. A beautiful girl with a beautiful voice and whose partner is so nice; I was tongue-tied when he actually asked me a question.

She is wearing a white t-shirt and cut-off blue jean shorts. Her hair is down and flowy in the soft evening breeze, and her baseball cap sits backward. Oh, and sunglasses. 

He is wearing a baseball cap as well, the right way around. He is wearing a sleeveless black shirt and black cut-off jeans. 

They both play guitar and they sound beautiful together.

She has a powerful voice. Something I strive for now.

He is guiding her through a song showing her the chords and the beauty of that. Harmonious.

She sang What’s Up. I have tried that song. Maybe someday I will ace it in my own way.

****What I wrote as I sat on the patio listening to these people.

I told her I am living vicariously through her. How fabulous of a life, but it must be hard, and she has the dedication and the drive. 

They just bought a property, can you believe it? They have a trailer and power, and f*cking lake access, and she has a canoe and they even have their own youtube channel and you can see for yourself how fortunate this girl is.

My first introduction was to hear her sing at the neighborhood pub, It was karaoke night. Her voice is drop-jaw and I must have a stupid look on my face. I had to sing after her, I said oh thanks a lot. How can I even come close to that?

Then I was told she was a professional musician. Then I was like wow.

I found out she played in my friends’ band, she was the singer, and I was wowed again. She is actually my favorite singer to date, in all of my city. Many many people have amazing voices that do karaoke, amazing voices, make me shy. Anyways there is just something about her singing and how much variety she has in music. I see her change from singing 80”s rock music to the gentler music she plays now. She does solos on Spark street. It is like a  performance shed, and it is called The Shed. I would love to do that someday too.

Now, I sing nothing like her, but I was told a couple of things, and this recent after the full moon, a guy named, …, and I were messaging and I told him I couldn’t sing like my friend who performs, and he told me that I didn’t need to sing like someone else, that I captured his attention and he believes I can do that on stage. A while ago I was told the same, stage presence and connecting with the audience is actually more important than the quality of your voice. What I find funny is I am not a super-strong singer but my friends, some are, and others on the fb page, yet I never see anyone braving the Open Mic. I like challenging myself and I love being part of a band playing during open mic. It does take confidence and drive.

I keep practicing and let’s see what I accomplish. Oh, the full moon is coming, I have to think about gratitude and focus on stretching my writing skills and my singing skills. And study my Algonquin course which is really hard this semester. I have full days, busy.

This is what else my new friend said, 

“I’m sure it will happen that’s the thing about music it can’t be forced it has to develop naturally.”

I tell you, our conversation got my head in the clouds.

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Christie F.

Welcome to my blog. I have been journal writing for years. I took a course in Creative writing and found I enjoy writing short stories and poetry. I write more when I am hypomanic or manic.
I went into Rehab for Alcohol Addictions and have been sober for fourteen years.
Shortly after I quit drinking I was diagnosed with Bipolar 2, I have since been diagnosed with Bipolar 1.
I enjoy talking about my story, for people to learn or relate. I try and have a healthy lifestyle and try to use my coping strategies. Life is just too boring without Bipolar, it is a blessing but yet sometimes a curse.
I am currently working on a book and dream of publishing one day.
I am so excited to have found Wordpress.
This is my new adventure.

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