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My Bright Moon

What’s new about my Moon? 

June 2nd, 2021

I kid you not. I am in the middle of a process called forgiveness, something I actually learned in My Stress and Wellness course at my local college but really didn’t pay attention until now. The other day (2 -3?) days ago) I came up with the idea of forgiveness. . Letting go of resentment, hard feelings, anger, and trust; I started reading about it. I started watching a video, guided imagery to help your subconscious hear the words while you sleep.

Guess who pointed me in the direction?  My 17-year-old daughter. She listens to mindful meditation to manifest good things. The guided meditation that I watched,  put me in a trance and I have such an exciting idea, but first I will let you know what I have learned and tried so far in regards to the moon and this spiritual path I am on.

I started reading more in my book Moon Magic and came across some things that I knew I could provide, I can explain what I have set up now.

In the center of my table, I have a succulent plant that was given to me by my best friend when I lost a friend to suicide. The earth in this bowl is to keep me grounded. I decided on that and the pebbles are my strength.

I looked up candles and incense and have decided to use sandalwood for the most part. It has a grounding relaxing effect. I have incense sticks but I like these little incense cones, they are great and less messy.

I looked up herbs but it isn’t my forte just yet, but I did include a bay leaf, ”purification, strength, fame, and reward” (2020 )

I chose to do a ceremony including garlic as it is known to ward off bad energy, negativity and unfortunately I have too much of that in my life (too much for relationships and I am really trying). I don’t have black candles, again to ward off negative energy, but for that, I replaced it with a black candle holder. I have a red candle to signify love and relationships, I thought pairing these two together was brilliant, especially in times of difficulties in relationships. 

I am learning to “smudge” I watched a video on youtube on how to do it and what it signifies. To me, it signifies clearing out my demons in my head, in my body and the residual in the space that I live. I haven’t started chanting, I don’t have a mantra yet, just trying not to set my house on fire. PS, do not light a bay leaf unless you want to get a fire going.

So I found a place that sells these rolled smudge sticks. Cedar, blue sage and white sage Some are meant to be used for certain things but I haven’t looked that close to it yet.

Oh yes, I started off looking for a smudging bowl and came across a piece of pottery that my best childhood friend made for me. That represents relationships.

I have everything set up on a round glass table. I tried to pick round things because a circle means a lot in Wicca, I would have to do more reading to get all the info I think it is symbolic of life. (I am just learning, don’t quote me on anything) 

I am still browsing through my book, and read another thing on this moon tonight. It’s the Last (third) quarter moon. This moon is to “Stop negative thoughts, and let go of hurtful habits.”( 2020)

So the last full moon I was so excited, it was the Lunar Eclipse Moon, and Super Flower Moon. That was my first ‘full’ ceremony.

I spoke of my demons, my doubting, mistrusting, likes to have control, and let it softly dissolve under the moons shine. Oh yes, and my table is in front of my bedroom window so I can see the full-on full moon. I can go to bed and bask in the moonlight and I open my curtains on those nights.

I tried to buy gems for my daughter and me but they are Chakra Healing Stones, and I will use them separately. I told my daughter I wanted to do chakras cleaning and realigning them. I am no expert. I started off my knowledge in a book about lucid dreams, I did some reading, I did some decorating lol, I have pretty nifty spaces.

So that was the last moon. I need a bit of help, tomorrow morning when I have the house to myself I will smudge my room and me, and I will find myself a mantra, a chant, to have me focus my energies on something I need and want to change.

I need to change my resentment. Not for anyone else but me. Seems I have hung onto anger and resentment for far too long and it is recking Neil and I. But I am just learning this now. I am waiting to talk to my doctor about how to proceed. I am going to believe in myself and believe in a little moon magic.

So I watched about 15 minutes of this mindfulness on forgiveness, I swear, I felt very emotional about it I think maybe it is lifting my darkness. I know what I am going to do tomorrow. I am going to gather my items, make a special tea  and ohhhhhh right, I am waiting for 2 gems, I figured out I needed moonstone and selenite. The moonstone is an all-over good stone to have. The selenite- “It helps shift negative energies, rebalance the body and connect protective guardians” (2020 ) So ya, I definitely need some of that. Wish I had it for tomorrow.

I still have to talk to my doctor about what I should or shouldn’t do. Mind possible mania again, am I goin to get all obsessed about talking it out. Well, I don’t think I need to, I wrote an email. Writing emails is a very powerful tool I have. Unfortunately, it’s not appreciated lol or really ever read and be understood and I often don’t send them. It helps me get out my icky headspace by venting. Seriously my verbal, in a discussion is not very elaborate. But alas, a secret, somewhere in one of my moons I gained a bit more confidence, after tomorrow I will have even more and hopefully be clear of my negative energy. Btw people in real life dont see all this about me. I am the social one, people do like me, I am fun, unjudgemental, caring. We had the relationship people envied. And yes we still do and things will get better. Now I am a bit withdrawn.

So another thing I have to look at is socializing again. Neil needs it, and I am falling short, I am disappointing him when I dont jump up and down about potential company, man, I dont pay attention anymore to the COVID are we even allowed? , I dont know if we are locked down or not, I just do my thing, Actually, Neil said the stay-at-home order was removed. Yay, so I get to go to the drug store and Walmart and my dad’s. Ok so what changed? Nothing will change for me till I get back out singing open mic. Oh and now we can have 5 people outdoors and Neil wanted to have a BBQ sometime with friends.

NO wait before that. I need to deal with my demons and push them aside once and for all. AND try, try, try, to live in the present in a peaceful way with gratitude. I am looking forward to spending some mindfulness time on my own, and have a moon ceremony… 

“Stop Negative thoughts and Resentment and forgive (2020 ). Myself too. I Kind of started the whole shit show in one of my manias. Details? Well, I don’t want to write them out. Maybe in a sequel.

Be kind. Be safe. Have fun believing in something. I have to.

Bibliography

Kane, Aurora. Moon Magic. New York, Quarto Publishing Group USA inc., 2020.

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Christie F.

Welcome to my blog. I have been journal writing for years. I took a course in Creative writing and found I enjoy writing short stories and poetry. I write more when I am hypomanic or manic.
I went into Rehab for Alcohol Addictions and have been sober for fourteen years.
Shortly after I quit drinking I was diagnosed with Bipolar 2, I have since been diagnosed with Bipolar 1.
I enjoy talking about my story, for people to learn or relate. I try and have a healthy lifestyle and try to use my coping strategies. Life is just too boring without Bipolar, it is a blessing but yet sometimes a curse.
I am currently working on a book and dream of publishing one day.
I am so excited to have found Wordpress.
This is my new adventure.

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