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Middle of the night blog

It’s really too late as I sit tucked into the couch. I like sleeping on the couch, mainly because I feel closer to kids both of them at the same time, The other reason is I don’t like to sleep in my bed by myself. I am afraid of the dark. I am petrified of intruders. I have an alarm system but it is just not quite enough, I feel safer on the couch. Sometimes when Neil comes over I end up on the couch after a middle of the night, a severely medicated, binge. My sleep is so f*cked, Nothing is giving me the 8 hours I am supposed to have because I am bipolar and that is good to help from mania. Cough cough.

I am on a bit of a high. I wrote before about wanting to be in a band during one of my manic episodes, the idea wore down to maybe I will be brave enough to do an open mic. My mood crashed significantly when the doctor snowed me with meds to take care of the mania a couple of weeks ago… I didn’t want to sing, I didn’t want to write. I had no umph.

However recent events seem to have knocked me into orbit a bit again. The big change over was from the full blue moon, the other part a med change. Anyways it has brought me confidence and zest to conquer things I didn’t think I could.

Turns out one of the guys in the motorcycle group does open mic, he also duets with a guy. I told his friend that I wanted to sig with him (I was a bit giddy)

So I bit the bullet and decide to message him, I sent him a few Smules that I recorded. And he said yes!!!! I almost shit myself.

I really think he is just being super nice though. Hopefully, he isn’t laughing behind my back.

Hey, wait did you see what just happened there. My self-doubt, my paranoia about people being genuine or not, my basic loss of trust in society. Hard place to be but you kind of get used to it, but hard for Neil to always hear me put myself down, it is always worse at night. (soon the birds will be up though if they are even around this time of year)

So I watched this guy, Travis perform on the Tuesday, he announced that the open mic was going to be the next day. I screeched with delight.

Wednesday rolled around, Neil had had a tough day at work, but I thought maybe we were goin out together to check out the open mic. But no, Neil was too tired. Then it happened, I said f*ck it, I am goin to do this on my own. It is my ‘ Once in a Blue Moon” moment.

So off I went in an Uber, arriving in style. Long story short, I did make it on stage, we sang Sex and Candy “ By Marcey playground. One of my favs. We sing well together

And I want more. I want to make this a thing. I want to do open mic, maybe not all the time, but much of the time. He announced at the end of the show on Wednesday,

“Don’t forget open mic next week. Come see Christie sing more songs.”

That actually happened. I got what I dreamed of, and I get to get more. I want to do 2 songs next time. Then 3. Then a set. Then maybe join his duet. Haha.

I don’t even want to sleep.

How f*cking sweet is that. My Moon thank you. Once in a Blue Moon

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Christie F.

Welcome to my blog. I have been journal writing for years. I took a course in Creative writing and found I enjoy writing short stories and poetry. I write more when I am hypomanic or manic.
I went into Rehab for Alcohol Addictions and have been sober for fourteen years.
Shortly after I quit drinking I was diagnosed with Bipolar 2, I have since been diagnosed with Bipolar 1.
I enjoy talking about my story, for people to learn or relate. I try and have a healthy lifestyle and try to use my coping strategies. Life is just too boring without Bipolar, it is a blessing but yet sometimes a curse.
I am currently working on a book and dream of publishing one day.
I am so excited to have found Wordpress.
This is my new adventure.

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