It has been a very difficult week for me. On April Fool’s Day, I got a call from the dr who arranged the biopsy on my lingual lymph node which is enlarged. 

“I have referred you to the Cancer Clinic,” says the doctor.

It is very strange because all I want to know is do I have it or not?

Well, yesterday I found out that the addendum to my report indicates yes there is cancer. I have seen non-Hodgkins lymphoma on my report as well as Follicular Lymphoma- I believe it is the same.

I have done a lot of research, of course, kind of want to know what is goin on in my body.

On this same day, I had to bring my Archie to the vets. I thought he was having issues with his gums and I was certain he had an infection so I was hoping for a fix. Well, he does need dental work but as you might remember I had him there about 8 months ago and they said he had weeks to months to live. So dr increased his pain meds and he came home without any issues and seemed fine. 

Sunday, Archie took a turn for the worst, strange behaviour, tense. I tried to let him out for a pee and his legs collapsed.

“Neil, I have to call the kids.”

I picked up my phone and called my son, 

“Come now, Ace is not well. We have to bring him to vets.”

By the time the kids got there, there was no improvement. We spent the afternoon and evening with Archie. And then we had to bring him in. I was hoping maybe have a dr come to the house, but no one was available.

My baby boy, my best friend, and the best sweetest pup has crossed Rainbow Bridge.

It has been the hardest thing for me in the past few days. I am trying to keep myself busy, and Neil has been ‘taking care” of me throughout, and I have been staying with him. My first bus ride home I started crying before I got off the bus because I knew I would be going home to nothing. NO greeter. No bouncing up and down and tail waggling. It has been really really hard these past couple of weeks. And Archie? Losing my best friend at a time I need him the most, but looking back on his life, I have always needed him. He was a rescue, and he rescued me. I have such an emptiness.

 Neil and I had (without knowing) taken Archie for a walk that morning, he seemed normal, bouncing around, pulling on his leash and smelling intensely the newly thawed ground and new growth. He came back, lay down and didn’t get up again.

When we were ready to leave to take him in, I noticed blood coming from his mouth. I knew it was his time. 

We had time to say goodbye and remind him how much he was loved, and what a good boy he was.

 My baby in a blanket. I am lost.

Categories: Uncategorized

Tagged as: cancer family losing a pet overwhelmed

Christie F.

Welcome to my blog. I have been journal writing for years. I took a course in Creative writing and found I enjoy writing short stories and poetry. I write more when I am hypomanic or manic.
I went into Rehab for Alcohol Addictions and have been sober for fourteen years.
Shortly after I quit drinking I was diagnosed with Bipolar 2, I have since been diagnosed with Bipolar 1.
I enjoy talking about my story, for people to learn or relate. I try and have a healthy lifestyle and try to use my coping strategies. Life is just too boring without Bipolar, it is a blessing but yet sometimes a curse.
I am currently working on a book and dream of publishing one day.
I am so excited to have found Wordpress.
This is my new adventure.